Sunday, March 20, 2011

A Breathy Defense of My Reckless Disclosures

December 2009

It’s ever so peculiar—

how we tend to find something new
to say about the same things
whether they are old or unimpressive
or unamusing

that we assume words addressed to
anonymous audiences are really
calling our names or looking at us
sideways

And it’s not quite right

that I told a man it’s a lot easier to tell my
secrets to a holiday card with a calligraphy
pen than to actually vocalize them
out loud

that we keep living our lives after
parts of them end—not stages like
adolescence or relationships—but
separate worlds

It’s appalling—

the way I forgot about the boy I
abandoned when we were children
and that I didn’t realize it for
five years

that I am so thoughtful of these things
in coffee shop moments
but that they escape me in exhales
and regularly forgotten motions

Yet I—we—forget

We do

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